Do we have a terminal sense of overresponsibility? What if it was easier than that?
This is big, so hold onto your hat!
We are conditioned from an early age to work hard and sacrifice to attain certain things so that we can be safe and in control of our lives. We are given the heavy burden of
RESPONSIBILITY...starting in Kindergarten at age 5 to do a good job at school, be responsible for your behavior, etc.
And then many of us along the way of life, become parents, and that RESPONSIBILITY gets "huger" because now we are in charge of others' little lives, and how they turn out.
We end up with a dependency on our RESPONSIBILITIES having to go well, for us to feel we are living well. It's a benchmark that we are good at life.
That might look like:
-a job that pays well so we can have nice things
- a kid with great grades so he can get into a good college and learn himself to be RESPONSIBLE
Nowhere in this life prescription does it seem like our RESPONSIBILITY might be to love living our lives.
And consequently, few of us do.
Even worse, there is this unspoken assumption that if our quest is to love our life, it's IRRESPONSIBLE!! GAH!
And when life is not going as we think it needs to be going;
We "get through."
We "hope it will get better."
We "cope and manage."
MAYBE THIS IS WHY EVERYONE IS IN THERAPY?
Maybe the actual goal is misaligned with the truth of what we are here for, and thus we suffer!
Maybe the operating system is incorrect.
Terminal Responsibility is a paradigm that implies that we have control over what happens in life, and is a mark of good living.
IT IS INCORRECT!
-we are not in control of what happens
-we are not in control of how our kids turn out
WE ARE FULLY ABLE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR AND IN CONTROL OF:
our state of mind and being in any circumstance. And in the operating system that is life, being in love, wonder, and awe of life itself, is the actual prescription for living well AND loving life along the way.
We are guided, we are shown, and our highest version of ourselves is when we are in love with it all. Love is the closest expression we have to being "as God"and when we can live more consistently like that, life unfolds like a magical red carpet, bringing you more than you could have ever imagined possible. And when we model this for our kids, they learn it and experience it too. And when life occurences throw us curves, we are able to sit in deep gratitude and love for it all. Because, as our highest version of ourselves, we flow through
all disappointments and all triumphs.
THE ONLY PATH TO TRUE KNOWLEDGE IS EXPERIENCE.
Maybe just for today, practice being aware of whether you are loving the experience of being alive.
Find some awe and wonder even in the tiniest of things and feel your mind, body, and spirit come alive!